I’ve hired a researcher and writer to provide you with typical information related to marriage and relationships. These posts will not go into as much depth as I do, for obvious reasons.
This post, 14 Common Marriage Killers, hopefully will stimulate your thinking about what conditions or situations in your marriage trigger the upset and crisis.
Please read them over. Give some thought to your situation, which areas you might strongly disagree or agree and leave your comment at the bottom.
Even if you do everything right in your relationship, a problem can arise if it leaves you too exhausted to enjoy it. School, work, children and the seemingly endless commitments of family life can leave you so tired that your relationship becomes simply no fun. When you plan your day, always leave yourself time for rest and rejuvenation.
Relationship experts tell us that of all the forms of marital strife, none is more common than those caused by finances. There are no problems like money problems, so put careful financial planning at the top of your to-do list. The chances of family friction will decrease dramatically if your finances are in order.
We all have the right and the responsibility to care for our own needs. However, in a marriage you have to be able to also take into consideration the other person in the partnership. Selfishness is unattractive in anyone, but in a marital relationship it can be fatal.
Great in-laws can be a wonderful aid to a marriage. Or in-laws can be a trigger for frustration or hurt. Make sure you are able to talk about in-laws and family patterns with your spouse.
Some people go into marriage with unreasonable expectations of complete marital bliss. Then the first time something goes wrong, they are plunged into a marriage crisis. Getting realistic marriage information before the wedding is a good way to avoid romantic illusions that can lead to disappointment.
In a healthy relationship both partners have the confidence to give each other a little free time to be on their own. Your spouse had a life before they met you, and it didn’t end on your wedding day. Insecure clinging and jealousy towards the time your partner spends with family and friends will eventually suffocate a relationship.
7. Sexual Frustration
Despite what’s portrayed in movies and romantic novels, good sex seldom happens by magic. It takes a conscious effort and desire to please the other partner. Usually, it requires practice and patience, so be sure to keep practicing!
By the time this marriage killer appears, your relationship is already in deep trouble. Yet, marriages with a cheating spouse have been known to recover and survive, but only if both parties are willing to work at it.
It’s no surprise that a major financial crisis like going bankrupt can lead to a marriage crisis as well. Bankruptcy sometimes can’t be helped, but how you and your spouse react to it can determine whether it is merely a temporary crisis that you eventually overcome, or a stressful nightmare that shatters your marriage.
It is easy to see how big failures threaten a marriage, but big time success can also cause unexpected stress. Success means change, and while many of the changes are pleasant, they also alter the environment within which your marriage has worked in the past. If caught unprepared, those changes can destabilize your marriage.
Everyone admires young love, but young marriage can be another matter. In the past, people regularly married in their teens, but these days, that is almost always too young. The most sensible people do not consider marriage before age twenty.
When alcoholism enters a marriage, divorce is often close at hand. Fortunately, dependence on alcohol is treatable, but one must have the knowledge and insight to see when a problem is forming. Part of the marriage information everyone should receive prior to the wedding is some basic facts about alcoholism.
13. Illegal Drugs
There is a worse nightmare than alcoholism, and that is when the problem is compounded by the fact that the substance being abused is also illegal. Nothing threatens to break up a marriage quite like a prison term! As with alcohol, the best protection against illegal drugs is education.
14. Other Addictions
There are things other than substances that get you high that you can get addicted to. Pornography, gambling, shopping and other activities that are not always harmful, can become so when abused. Anything that becomes compulsive and repetitive despite a desire to stop is an addiction. What addictions do is consume your time and your money. Eventually, they will consume your marriage as well.
Which of these “killers” speaks most to your situation? Which would be the top 3 that have impacted, most severely, your marriage?