Can you think of someone who copes by being submissive, by accommodating others, sometimes by relishing the victim role? Can you think of someone who waltzes through life being seductive or charming as a way to get what s/he wants? Or some who cope with the inner anxiety and fears by controlling his/her world and …
As a male you are asked to be more romantic. If you are a typical male, this strikes a scary cord. You think of some stud, with piercing eyes and sly soft smile who knows how to wooooo a woman and “sweep her off her feet.” You are expected to say the right thing at …
Communication is king! However, here you are: tongue-tied, reluctant to say what you think or feel, yet feel that seething frustration of not being heard. You don’t know what to do. Others seem to scream at you: say more, get it out, express yourself! And, you, plain and simple, just don’t feel safe. Leave your …
8 Underlying Reasons why “Talking” may Kill a Marriage Read More »
And as you scan the media, as you encounter others at work or in other contexts, and if you look a little below the surface, you notice that getting personal needs met is a huge priority in our culture. The need for attention, the need for power, the need for success, the need for recognition, …
The marriages that struggle and endure with pain far outnumber those they observe that offer life and health to the couple. Reality indicates to you that just perhaps marriage will be difficult. It is expected, especially if you talk to other married couples, that the marriage will grow “cold.” The passion will fade. The advent …
One spouse always seemingly wants more (intimacy, talking, connection, time together, etc) than the other. There is ALWAYS an imbalance. Usually, but not always, it is the male who backs away or displays hesitancy. Please leave your comment about the video below. What is the intimacy balance like in your relationship?
Here are the results for you who completed the Marriage Crisis Checklist. (If you didn’t get the Checklist, sign up for the info in the right column and you will be added to my mailing list and will have an opportunity to receive the final product. I’m just beginning research on this project.) These are …
One in a marriage or relationship of emotional investment is ALWAYS (instead of confronting your spouse) running away or distancing self or putting on the brakes, at some point, with communication, intimacy, closeness and the process of knowing and being known. In 80% of the marriages you can count on this process. It’s usually men …
Shift #4: From Running from your Spouse to Confronting Your Spouse Read More »
Part 4 (Prior post: Men, Intimacy and Isolation) Knowing the coping patterns of your spouse (as outlined in “7 Reasons Men have Difficulty Getting Close and Staying Close”) provides relief. Often you as a spouse are too close to the relationship to see the overarching patterns of coping and behavior. You see the tree staring …
Men and Intimacy – Part 3 (the prior post: Men, Intimacy and Guilt) The spouse who lives and breathes next to an emotionally distant man may experience a strong dose of isolation. If guilt and a sense of undue responsibility are present she may shrink from the world. Her world narrows, her enthusiasm for life …
