• The in-your-face criticism or the subtle digs that leave you tongue tied and hurt
• The distance – two married strangers in the same room or maybe the same bed
• The Loneliness and nagging emptiness
• The incessant undercurrent of frustration ; there’s never enough
• The conflict and fights that predictably emerge Being afraid – to say what you really think, to be who you truly are
• The numbness; the emotional paralysis, the married walking dead
• The mind games that perpetuate distance and misunderstanding.
• The phoniness of a marriage that will lead only to your emotional death and the confusion of your children

• This marriage is a place that gives me life.
• I have confidence my spouse will be with me forever.
• We are physically affectionate.
• This marriage is a healthy and productive springboard for my career and vocation.
• We deeply appreciate and welcome our differences. I am heard powerfully.
• I hear powerfully.
• I feel expansive freedom and joy with my spouse.
• We share our differences and disagreements powerfully and respectfully.
• I have moved from the drain of pleasing my spouse to letting him/her know more fully who I am.
• I feel passion and excitement.
• I can disclose fully and freely, without fear, my thoughts and feelings to my spouse.