How to Make Your Point without Wigging out or Wimping Out

Webinar with Dr. Bob Huizenga

(Right click the button above and select “Save Link As…” to download the audio file)

Chat Transcript of the Q & A

Glad you are here. Feel free to add your questions or comments.

10:01 PM

Maria Cristallo (to All):

yes

10:01 PM

Sheri (to All):

yes

10:01 PM

cah1 (to All):

yes

10:01 PM

Idalia (to All):

yes

10:01 PM

maryanne Overbaugh (to All):

yes

10:02 PM
[ Waiting for name ] (to All):

yes

10:06 PM

Kulin (PRIVATE):

why did the affair happen ??

10:06 PM

Kulin (PRIVATE):

what was the need ?

10:06 PM

Kulin (to Organizers):

yes..

10:06 PM

Ann (to All):

my partner resenting me and talking in circles

10:06 PM

Kulin (to Organizers):

yes

10:07 PM

Ann (to All):

blaming all what went wrong on me

10:07 PM

Kulin (to Organizers):

she starts crying and almost has nervous breakdown

10:07 PM

maryanne Overbaugh (to All):

Today, my husband keeps saying he is coming home he is living with his affair partner. He keeps telling me he has a plan but nothing is happeining. he has said this for 2 years

10:08 PM

Kulin (PRIVATE):

she starts crying and almost has nervous breakdown

10:08 PM

Kulin (to Organizers):

8

10:08 PM

cah1 (to All):

My husband moved out 1.5 years ago to live with his affair partner, but 1 year ago said he wanted to work on our marriage. Since that time he has gone back and forth between me and his affair partner, saying he is “conflicted” and does not know what to do. When I try to talk with him, he says he is stressed out and can’t talk. It is a 10 on the tension scale.

10:08 PM

Kulin (PRIVATE):

8

10:08 PM

maryanne Overbaugh (to All):

8

10:08 PM

Ann (to All):

10 on tension and no communication

10:09 PM

Sheri (to All):

yes

10:09 PM

Ann (to All):

my partner lives also for 2 tears withbhis affair partner and acts like a teenagere .

10:10 PM

Ann (to All):

when he is home in the weekend he pretends everything is all right

10:10 PM

Ann (to All):

no plan

10:15 PM

Ann (to All):

the affair partner is trying to arrange my life and the lifes of our kids .

10:15 PM

Ann (to All):

My husband believes everything she says .

10:16 PM

Idalia (to All):

yes

10:16 PM

tami (to All):

yes

10:16 PM

maryanne Overbaugh (to All):

yes

10:16 PM

Sheri (to All):

I do

10:16 PM

cah1 (to All):

yes

10:16 PM

Steve (to All):

all the time

10:16 PM

Ann (to All):

yes

10:16 PM

Beth Patterson (to All):

yes

10:16 PM

Kulin (to All):

yes

10:16 PM

Kulin (to All):

more then I talk to my spouse

10:18 PM

Sk (to All):

While in the middle of a crisis- hearing, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you. I’m done.” And emotional affair is happening, but he is saying “We are just friends.” He doesn’t think she is the catalyst, but is addicted to talking and texting her- what CAN you talk about to rebuild the connection using the 4 steps?

10:20 PM

Steve (to All):

does any of that conflict with charging neutral?

10:22 PM

tami (to All):

I’ve tried this exact thing before of “when I see…then I feel…” and he shut down and would not answer with any reply. Any suggestions how to know if he understands and/or get a response?

10:24 PM

tami (to All):

at this point it is because he thinks he has “dealt with everything” Doesn’t want to talk anymore

10:25 PM

cah1 (to All):

what would we self disclose — that we are afraid, too?

10:26 PM

Kulin (to All):

what u do if spouse breaks down and feels very guilty to talk

10:28 PM

maryanne Overbaugh (to All):

When I tell him how I feel or what I am thinking, he says “stop you’re just getting yourself upset”.

10:31 PM

Ann (to All):

I feel that if I act in that way : non judging and loving

10:31 PM

Ann (to All):

my husband can continue the affair forvever

10:32 PM

Ann (to All):

yes

10:32 PM

Sk (to Organizers):

While in the middle of a crisis- hearing, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you. I’m done.” And emotional affair is happening, but he is saying “We are just friends.” He doesn’t think she is the catalyst, but is addicted to talking and texting her- what CAN you talk about to rebuild the connection using the 4 steps?

10:32 PM

Kulin (to All):

if I stop asking for details I will never find out what was the need for the affair ?

10:32 PM

Ann (to All):

if i am nice he will continue forever

10:32 PM

Ann (to All):

yes

10:39 PM

tami (to All):

I said “when I see this,,,,I feel this….and I need your help to help me heal”. Again – no to little response. Only one time did he respond the next day with a short answer. I think it’s because of his shame/guilt and he pretty much refuses to go “back there”. When I tell him how humiliated I feel he says “you don’t show it”.

10:41 PM

maryanne Overbaugh (to All):

I guess I am not sure what support he can give.

10:42 PM

Sheri (to All):

Is it effective via text or email? (We are separated and haven’t much opportunity for face to face conversation.)

10:43 PM

tami (to All):

yes

10:43 PM

tami (to All):

yes listening on phone, watching on line

10:44 PM

tami (to All):

i can type my response if you ask question

10:44 PM

maryanne Overbaugh (to All):

We on the phone can unmute our phones.

10:44 PM

tami (to All):

ok, thx

10:45 PM

tami (to All):

how do i do that

10:45 PM

Sk (to All):

While in the middle of a crisis- hearing, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you. I’m done.” And emotional affair is happening, but he is saying “We are just friends.” He doesn’t think she is the catalyst, but is addicted to talking and texting her- what CAN you talk about to rebuild the connection using the 4 steps?

10:46 PM

Sheri (to All):

ok, tks

10:46 PM

Sk (to All):

I can’t talk right now.

10:47 PM

Sk (to All):

Yes

10:48 PM

Sk (to All):

He doesn’t think we have a relatiobship

10:48 PM

Sk (to All):

He denies it’s an affair.

10:49 PM

Kulin (to All):

if my spouse does not want to talk about the past and she has a nervous breakdown .. and I want to know the details.. how do we break this imapasse

10:49 PM

Sk (to All):

He is still at home, but continuing with her.

10:50 PM

Kulin (to All):

yes

10:50 PM

Theresa (PRIVATE):

should I share this process with my husband

10:56 PM

Sk (to All):

What can you do of your partner works very hard to oppose you?

10:56 PM

Theresa (PRIVATE):

he has been pretty resistant when I made a similar request

10:56 PM

Theresa (PRIVATE):

in the past

10:57 PM

Sk (to All):

He is trying to convince himself he doesn’t want to be married. I think he is confused.

10:57 PM

Ann (to All):

whatcif the affair partner does everything in her power to keep him

10:57 PM

Mary (to All):

How to communicate with a partner who uses the “silent treatment” to avoid any contact?

10:58 PM

Theresa (PRIVATE):

this has been wonderful! thank you

10:58 PM

Kulin (to All):

thank you

10:59 PM

maryanne Overbaugh (to All):

thank you

Share with Family and Friends
  • Print
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Google Bookmarks

Leave A Reply (No comments So Far)

No comments yet

css.php