One ALWAYS Wants More Intimacy in the marriage

Young couple in love

One spouse always seemingly wants more (intimacy, talking, connection, time together, etc) than the other. There is ALWAYS an imbalance. Usually, but not always, it is the male who backs away or displays hesitancy.

Please leave your comment about the video below. What is the intimacy balance like in your relationship?

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Leave A Reply (19 comments So Far)


  1. Jalé Dalton
    1 year ago

    How astute of you to pinpoint that the person who is pulling away may do so out of fears and inadequacies, Dr. Huizenga. That alone took me a decade of personal human revolution. While I went through a proverbial hell because of a break-up, we were able to regroup and keep our family together, and became far better people than we ever thought possible…so, everything has value and a gift. meanwhile, I have received your e-mails and benefited from them – and shared them with others who were hurting. Thank you for your generous and gentle help, wishing you all the best.
    Jalé


  2. Mark Despault
    9 months ago

    Yes this is pretty much how my wife and I ended up in this crisis. I was taking the relationship for granted while my wife was feeling that she wasn’t getting what she needed in it. It has now reversed, as I struggle from pursuing her. I am preparing to try “charging Neutral” however for some reason I am afraid to. I feel nervous about standing up to her with my true feeling at this point. I do love her but know that the hurt I feel will develope into resentment.
    All so surreal . Only 7 months ago we were a sharing our day to day life as a couple with plans and dreams for our future together.


  3. Carol Ramos
    9 months ago

    I am going through this right now. I am the one who always wants more intimacy, time together, etc. and my husband is always pulling away. Thanks for enlightening me that my husband may be going through fears and inadequacies. Thank you for all your help. I have received your first ebook back in 2004, Break Free From The Affair, and also received counseling from you at that time. That was the time my husband had his first affair. We are still married, now going on 28 years despite the fact that my husband had a total of three affairs. My story is long and all your literature has helped me save my marriage. I have realized that all the infidelities my husband went through was because of his personal need system, immaturity, and distorted thinking. You see I was never going to be able to provide him with a child and he knew that going into our marriage; he was okay with it up to 14 years into the marriage. Then his thinking changed and he started thinking about dying and wanting to have a child of his own and the affairs started. The first affair started late 2003 and ended in 2005, second started in 2014 and ended 2015, soon after the most recent affair started in 2015 and now he has a child just born a month ago. He was so happy when he found out the child was his (through DNA testing)! NOW, he finally achieved his goal! But guess what? Welcome to reality — yes, he has proven his manhood but now he is responsible for the needs of this little baby. He now has to go back to work which I think is depressing him because of his age; reason for his fears and inadequacies. Once again, Dr. Huizenga, thank you for all your support!


  4. ray
    9 months ago

    Believe me SHE is the ENEMY. SHE is a black Scotchman like HER father. SHE had a 5yr. with NO shame, NO remorse and NO change in HER attitude and the affair began in 1966 and SHE is the same shameless person as SHE was 50yrs. ago when SHE started HER affair.
    Going to the company Christmas party without me, getting a IUD put in for Him, buying some wigs to hide Herself when SHE was out with Him, spending all HER pay on clothes to look good for Him, etc..
    YOU have know a black Scotchman to understand how vicious these psychopath’s are.


  5. Rip Van Winkle
    5 months ago

    You’ve described the situation between my wife and I exactly. I look forward to reading the E-book.


  6. Mark Townsend
    4 months ago

    I would love to feel “safe” again in my marriage. I hope that this helps.


  7. David
    2 months ago

    I need all the help I can get. My wife and I have been talking about finding balance. It’s odd how our “roles” have so drastically changed in our marriage.


  8. Harry
    2 months ago

    right on target, hope the e book helps me some more, as I really need it

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