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emotional distance

Help for Troubled Relationships

Warning: in this article I’m taking a very critical look at conventional self help and professional counseling for troubled relationships. I saw what I perceived to be the demise of the therapeutic community’s capacity to be effective back in the 90’s when I served on the State Board for Marriage and Family Therapy. It was …

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Why “Working on Your Marriage” Will Actually KILL Your Marriage

The First Radical Unconventional Mind Twisting Step to EASY LOVE …Stop Trying to Fix Your Marriage Don’t dive in! If your marriage is in shambles, broken and and you are emotionally falling apart, don’t… please don’t… jump in and try to fix it. No date nights. No plans for a romantic getaway. No plea for …

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Distant Spouse and Saving your Marriage

Can Your Marriage be Saved? This question is a tough one to face for most facing the demise of their marriage: Can this marriage be saved? Is it too painful or disturbing for you to entertain this question? The thought of your marriage ending is often terrifying: -My dreams and hopes for a good life …

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The Intent of the “Cold” Spouse

You are not trying to be bad, stubborn, passive or whatever. You are merely trying to control your feelings and your thoughts. You are doing the best you can considering the coping mechanisms you bring, your situation and a number of other factors. You don’t truly want to feel responsible for hurting someone. You don’t …

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Emotional Distance is a Way to Cope

Can you think of someone who copes by being submissive, by accommodating others, sometimes by relishing the victim role? Can you think of someone who waltzes through life being seductive or charming as a way to get what s/he wants? Or some who cope with the inner anxiety and fears by controlling his/her world and …

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Shift #4: From Running from your Spouse to Confronting Your Spouse

One in a marriage or relationship of emotional investment is ALWAYS (instead of confronting your spouse) running away or distancing self or putting on the brakes, at some point, with communication, intimacy, closeness and the process of knowing and being known. In 80% of the marriages you can count on this process. It’s usually men …

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