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The Pulling Away Spouse Accommodates

You are perceived as the recalcitrant spouse, the uncooperative one and the bad person for not getting with the program. You receive this message from others. And, you may believe that of yourself as well, at least to a disturbing degree. You believe it is important therefore to swallow the not so nice words on …

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Emotional Distance is a Way to Cope

Can you think of someone who copes by being submissive, by accommodating others, sometimes by relishing the victim role? Can you think of someone who waltzes through life being seductive or charming as a way to get what s/he wants? Or some who cope with the inner anxiety and fears by controlling his/her world and …

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Romance is a loaded word

As a male you are asked to be more romantic. If you are a typical male, this strikes a scary cord. You think of some stud, with piercing eyes and sly soft smile who knows how to wooooo a woman and “sweep her off her feet.” You are expected to say the right thing at …

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Marriage in Crisis: 6 Ways to Keep Your Focus

I’ve observed that we live in an ADD – OCD culture. You may flit from thought to thought, project to project and for the life of you find it difficult to maintain your focus. Our medical community labels this as Attention Deficit Disorder and prescribes medication. Or you may work extremely hard controlling your environment …

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Marriage Crisis: Shift Your Focus

When confronted with a marital crisis, your knee jerk reaction is to focus “out there” to stop the crisis. An almost obsessive like focus on your spouse or partner during a marital crisis I find extremely common, at least when the crisis first erupts. Your world is thrown into chaos. Your future suddenly is marked …

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Seven Reasons Men Have Difficulty with Closeness in Marriage

What difficulties do men have in creating and developing intimacy and closeness in marriage? I’m first going to outline seven reasons for men having difficulty in getting and keeping closeness in marriage. These reasons emerge from the general coping patterns I talked about earlier. 1. A man may proclaim: “It’s not me. It’s your fault.” …

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Why Men Have Difficulty with Closeness

What is it that creates men to have difficulty with closeness? And, how does it make you feel? Please understand that this is not about man bashing. I’m a man and I prefer not to be bashed. And women, I assume also don’t like to be bashed. We have enough bashing in our culture. The …

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