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Your Spouse is NOT Your Enemy

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80% of marriages suffer from the pursuing-distancing dance.

One ALWAYS is pulling away.

Eventually the dance may become a war – a quiet war or a war of extreme resentment.
One comes to see the other as the enemy.

Use “Your Spouse is Not the Enemy” Alone:

  • If you are the pursuing spouse…
    the 10 Motives for Emotional Distancing will help you view your spouse in a different light – s/he not being the bad person in opposition to you.
  • If you are the emotionally distancing spouse…
    you will understand yourself not as a “bad person” wrecking a marriage, but merely as a person trying to cope.

Use “Your Spouse is Not the Enemy” Together:

  • Experience a feeling of safety and trust emerge.
  • Use “Your Spouse is Not the Enemy” as a new point of connection.

However, heed the warnings of using “Your Spouse is Not the Enemy” as a couple.

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