OK. I hope you are not offended. There is some humor in this, but also an underlying truth.
To fart, or not to fart; that is the question.
It’s like the sexual progression: first touch, the first hug, the first kiss, the first “making out” and the first “going all the way.”
Maybe the question of when and where to fart, if ever, is similar.
In my 3 decades as a clinical therapist, I never recall the “farting issue” emerge; directly that is.
But, I know it’s an issue – an issue with questions and markers.
• What holds me back from farting in front of my significant other?
• Why do I want to fart in front of my significant other?
• Do girls (women,) especially “classy” girls, really fart?
• Do only gross uncouth men fart in front of their other?
I did a Google search and there was only one credible research article on farting and relationships.
The idea of farting, even the word “fart” is rather taboo. It’s not quite as bad as the word “shit” however: but taboo enough that we don’t usually talk about it.
Let’s take a look at reasons why farting in front of your spouse might help the relationship.
1. Some farts are endearing.
I remember the scene in “Good Will Hunting” where Robin Williams (the shrink) is talking to Matt Damon about his deceased wife. His most endearing and “warm” memory: of her rolling over and farting while sleeping.
2. Feeling free to fart in front of our significant other may mean the relationship is marked by a great deal of transparency.
You feel free to be “human” with each other. No secrets. (Do you suppose a person who feels free to fart in front of their S.O. is likely to have an affair?) Hmmmm interesting question.
3. It means acceptance.
If you can put up with the farting you can put up with a great deal. The relationship can go almost anywhere.
4. Farting in front of your significant other means you feel free to move beyond your roles.
You may even find yourselves discussing family roles and expectations that you bring to each other. You need not carry the burden of continually being prim and proper (within limits of course).
5. You can break out of your rigid rules of who you believe each should be.
You can test the boundaries and even be playful about it.
Now, let’s be careful. A fart is more than passing gas. Much deeper meaning may reside in the fart.
Farts may be angry, especially if in an enclosed area.
I remember during an in-service on my internship at Mayo clinic a psychiatrist described sitting down on the bedside of an elderly lady. The lady rolled over and ripped a nasty loud one. The psychiatrist reamed her out – interpreting the fart to be hostile.
Farting in front of your S.O. must be done with respect. No enclosed areas.
And there are embarrassment farts (passive aggressive) that intend to embarrass your partner in front of family or friends (This is in contrast to the fart that just happens to squeak out unintentionally in a social setting).
And finally there is the serious fart, in which the act of passing gas becomes an obsession and a frequent topic of conversation.
So, choose your farts carefully.
I hope you don’t find this article distasteful (or smelly!). Sometimes I think we take ourselves (and our farts and other stuff) too seriously.