Part 6 (previous post: Men, Intimacy and Judgment)
You want to believe you are “normal.”
Often, in the midst of a marital crisis you feel anything but normal.
Your world is turned upside down. Your dreams and hopes of a “normal” happy family are dashed.
You begin to doubt yourself. Your neediness becomes more desperate. Your frustration merges into constant seething.
You begin to doubt your decision making capacity. You doubt your “gut.” You doubt yourself. And, you begin perhaps, to wonder if you are going just a tad crazy.
You fear disclosure of your situation to others, for fear of their judgment or simplistic solutions.
You employ your own coping mechanisms to protect yourself emotionally and relationally.
Taking the time to stand back and see the number of possibilities and reasons for the behavior and thinking of your spouse, and perhaps yourself, puts you back on the normal track.
Immersing yourself in learning, seeing the larger world; knowing that patterns and themes are discernible in marriages, relationships and families offers relief and hope.
From my survey of those who participated in “7 Reasons Men have Difficulty Getting Close and Being Close” one responded:
It was helpful to realize that I am not crazy, that my husband has a problem thinking that he is my gift from God, where I should be so thankful for being his wife.